I guess when you hear a person’s name, you imagine how she looks like, what she’s like or what her hobbies are but never her story. I thought all those nasty rumors about me will be left behind when I reach college. I was hoping to start fresh but some people just can’t keep their mouth shut or mind their own business. Do you really want to know who I am? Well then, scroll down and continue reading.
1. I AM NOT BIGAON.
- it’s funny because the people who keeps on calling me this B word are the people who doesn’t even know me. So, puhlease just zip it.
2. I DON’T ADD GUYS ON FACEBOOK NOT UNLESS I WAS LEFT WITH NO CHOICE
-for example, my guy classmates can’t add me anymore because I have received too many friend requests.
3. I DON’T TEXT GUYS FIRST NOT UNLESS I NEED THEIR HELP OR WHATEVER
4. I DO NOT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FLIRT
5. I AM STILL A FUCKING VIRGIN
- to those people who can’t stop spreading that I am overused, FYI, I am pure as white. Saving my V for my future husband
6. WHEN I FALL IN LOVE, I FALL DEEP
7. I ONLY HAD 5 M.US
8. IF MY CRUSH ALREADY HAS A GIRLFRIEND OR EVEN A CRUSH, I TAKE BACK MY “CRUSH FEELINGS” FOR HIM
9. YES, I PARTY BUT NOT ALWAYS BECAUSE I HAVE STRICT PARENTS
10. I AM FRIENDLY
- some people have mistaken me to be a snob but the truth is, I am really approachable
11. I KNOW THAT I AM FAT
12. I DO NOT WANT TO FLUNK IN SCHOOL
13. I AM A MEGA BOOKWORM
14. I’VE BEEN DANCING SINCE I WAS 3
15. I AM AFRAID OF CLOWNS AND MASCOTS
16. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COOK :(
17. I LOVE DOGS!! LIKE SO MUCH
18. I CAN’T SLEEP WITH THE LIGHTS OFF
20. I DON’T GIVE UP EASILY
21. I AM VERY PATIENT
22. I DON’T DRINK BUKO JUICE
23. I DON’T EAT BALOT
24. I CURSE A LOT (depends with who I’m with)
25. MY VOICE SUCKS
26. I AM A MUSIC PERSON
27. I LOVE WATCHING MOVIES
28. I AM PRETTY MUCH SINGLE RIGHT NOW
29. I’M STILL 17
30. I’M ON A SAFE DIET AND WORKOUT PLAN
31. I DRINK
- but it’s been months since the last time I had alcohol and no it doesn’t make me a bad person just because I’m drinking. YOLO so I’ll seize every moment
I guess I don’t need to list down all the things about myself. For now, this is all I have and I hope next time you say something bad about me, take time to know and I will prove you wrong.
He’s okay. He’s fine. He’s doing well and I know I shouldn’t complain and I know I shouldn’t feel bad but I do. I feel like such a mess knowing he’s happy or rather happier without me. It’s not that I don’t want him to be happy because that’s all I’ve ever wanted but I just can’t bear the fact that he’s gone and I think for good. I’ve been such a hopeless romantic girl nowadays and it just makes me miss him even more. As each day passes by, I keep on wishing that I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have. But then again, who would love such a mess of a girl like me? Who would want to be with someone who is moody and crazy and sometimes an angry bitch…someone like me? It’s 2am and I am not okay. I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY. I am tired of always feeling sorry for myself because I let him go. I still get hurt every time I see him but I just pretend to be strong by smiling. By pretending that I’m happy and that I’m not hurt.Some days I just wanna hug him tight and not let go and cry and breakdown and tell him that it’s still him. I know I just should stop. There’s no hope and I’m just waiting for something that’ll never happen. I’m not okay. I know it’s normal and it’s fine because I know things will turn around. I will be okay. Just not today.
Tomorrow’s October 1, 2013. A year ago, this was the happiest day of my life. It was the day that he and I finally decided to take our friendship to the next level.
I can’t say that I don’t miss what we used to be because honestly, I do. I awfully do. I’ve gotten so used to him being around for me. To listen to my senseless rants, to be my crying shoulder, my punching bag, my personal clown, my photographer, assistant, dictionary, tutor, but I certainly miss him being my one and only.
For 7 months, we have been through a lot of ups and downs. We always fight, argue at the most stupid things, jealousy here and there. I felt like a wallflower in his life except we constantly exchange text messages or late night phone calls but other than that, we rarely see each other. I was like the guy in the “relationship”. I put in a lot of effort just to see him, spend time with him even just for awhile but he always finds an excuse not to. Who wouldn’t get hurt when he tells other people that we’re just “best friends”.
I loved him. With every cell in my body, every strand of my hair, every blood in my veins, with every piece of me. He was perfect for me. He was the only guy I’ve ever loved this deep, this much. We were supposed to celebrate our first anniversary tomorrow. My first time EVER to try being with someone for a year but I guess we weren’t really meant to be with each other.
I will be happy without him and I will survive October 1. It’s just a date, it’s just another day and I don’t need to sulk around. I will face tomorrow with a smile :)
My favorite post on tumblr